MY GENUINE KIND OF WOMAN
by Thelma Sioson San Juan, Metro, January - February 2002

In the self-conscious sea of showbiz, Sharon Cuneta rises above everyone else because she is all too human-weight problems, triumphs, heartaches and all. That's why she's ageless.

THIS woman has everything, by your standards and mine.

This is the checklist. Born with talent-multi-talents, in fact-she's built a career; no, to better put it, she's reigned in showbiz for decades. She's married to an accomplished and attractive man, has a beautiful marriage, and now has, a beautiful baby. She's raised a pretty, well adjusted daughter who's now the poster girl of her generation. She was born to a fortune, and has earned a fortune on her own. She has nurtured, suffered and survived relationships, the degree of romance of which many women mold only dream of, and now seems to have found the lifetime romance.

To say that Sharon Cuneta is a woman at the prime of life isn't really accurate, for we know of no time when she's not been at her prime, be it in life or career. Hers has been a public life that's not seen a pre- or post-prime. The moment she began to sing Mr. DJ in public, she became an instant hit an instant love of her public. And it's been that way since.

The above are the criteria by which the public gauges the success and attraction of its icons. To us non-showbiz folk, however, Sharon holds a different attraction. When I watch her on TV, I'm drawn not only to her singing voice or to her hosting ability-and let's not forget, the woman can act (she made me cry in Minsan Kitang Minahal)-but also, I'm drawn to her genuine-ness. She has this easy charm and endearing transparency that make her connect to and communicate effortlessly, and engagingly, with her guests and with her audience. Her liras, especially those self-deprecating ones, are no put-on. Recently, my friend Auggie Cordero, who's the hardest TV / video buff to please, was so taken by Sharons questing on a game show where she chided host Christopher de Leon not to terrorize her, and where she voiced out a mock anxiety that if she didn't win the cash prize she'd already committed to charities, then she might just have to work her butt off just to raise the amount.

And come to think of it, I believe that's what makes Sharon a cut above the rest in show biz, above the TV hosts and even much younger celebs. She's not only candid and spontaneous-without having to make a fool of herself or her guests--she also comes across as sincere.

Sincerity is a trait that's mighty hard to package in showbiz. That's what no spinmeister, no scriptwriter can endow a celebrity with. That is what Oprah is all about.

In short, Sharon is a celebrity who's as human as you and I. Many celebs spend PR fortunes master-planning such an image; we don't even know if Sharon is aware she has that image.

I haven't had private time with Sharon. The only time I was with her - if you could call it being with her - was when I was asked by some Civil Society friends, in the days before Edsa 2, to attend a meeting in the Pangilinans' home in Wack-Wack, Kiko (Sharon's husband) being a leader in the Civil Society movement. The gathering had more than 50 people, which was easily accommodated in Sharon and Kiko's home. A huge Christmas tree (this was December 2000) greeted us at the foyer or receiving room. A table near the dining room had a huge buffet of Filipino dishes. The group sat around the dining room whose table was arranged in a U-shape to accommodate everyone. At one end of the table sat Kiko and Sharon, whose presence I didn't notice until halfway into the meeting; they were that unobtrusive.

Sharon was dressed just as unobtrusively I can't even recall what she was wearing now; she had no makeup. We took turns introducing ourselves to the gathering. When Sharon's turn came to say her name, right after Kiko's, she said, almost in a giggle, "Mrs. P" Simple.

It's from my good friend Marni Ocampo of Sari-Sari that I hear a good deal about Sharon. Maori and the Sari-Sari people have known Sharon for 16 years now. They met when Sharon popped into their store in Pasay Road, shopping for clothes. The bonding has continued through the years, with Sharon dropping by when she doesn't have much to do, sometimes even playing salesgirl-to the surprise, of course, of some customers. She'll just hang around in the store or Sari-Sari office, dozing off sometimes on the sofa, or dragging Maori and the girls to a dine-out, Peking duck being one of the group's favorite indulgences.

Maori recalls that when Sharon's dad, Mayor Pablo Cuneta, died, Sharon tried to wear out her grief and pain by cooking. Sharon, Maori and the girls also talk a good deal about each other's life, particularly the ups and downs of relationships.. Sharon can listen as much as she can confide. She has this ability to share.

Also, I learned that while she was no stalwart in the academe, a voracious reader. She's knowledgeable about a wide range of topics. Perhaps this is why she is a natural as a TV host; she can contribute to a conversation without hogging it, unlike must TV hosts.

I regret that I didn't make it to this Metro shoot to interview Sharon; Metro Working Mom's editor in chief An Mercado Alcantara covered for us, and asked our questions for us.

According to An, Sharon laid out a sumptuous meal for the shoot - lomi, lumpiang shanghai, mechado and various cakes. But Sharon had only a small plate of grapefruit and wheat bread.

Of course, you're dying to know how she's been shedding pounds. According to Maori, Sharon has mastered the modified Scarsdale diet, that famous weight-loss program from the'70s (the only diet that's worked for me, by the way) - protein, wheat bread, fruits and veggies, and certainty no heavy dinner.

An described that under the Pangilinan's giant Christmas tree were rows of gifts to be sent out. Sharon told her; "I want to boycott nga this year Usually I take time to write all the greetings. I think taking time to do this is important. Tine is my most precious commodity just being able to write that persons name means something to me. But this year has been so hectic, with Kiko being senator, Frankie's birthday, my mom's birthday, my birthday show in January. Next year, I will start shopping in June.

"Pwede kaya akong mag-Megamall?" she asked during the shoot, to everyone's disbelief. "You know I've never been to Megamall. Shangri-La I've tried. Pwede naman ako doon, people don't get too distracted. Sa Rockwel medyo mahirap. People notice. I don't mind people coming up to me, I'm used to that. It's just I don't want to cause a commotion."

When KC told her she'd go to the mall with her mom, Sharon said under her breath, "When they're 16, you are not asked. You are just told."

An also recalled -- and this is interesting -- how Sharon said, "When people insist that I've had a lipo, gusto kong isubsub ang mukha nila sa tiyan ko! Lipo kayo iyan!"

That's another thing we love about Sharon, she has wit and humor. That tells you she doesn't take herself or her trappings all that seriously. A self-putdown is refreshing in a showbiz that's all self-conceit.

After the shoot, Sharon told me on the phone, as she did An, that she truly enjoyed this Metro shoot. "It made me feel young. Goodbye to the matrona image."

In our haste, we forgot to tell her that, gosh, Sharon, you have one more thing that sets you apart in celebrityhood. You're ageless. Like a genuine woman is.

Here are excerpts from An's interview with Sharon.

What more can you ask for now?

The things you cannot buy. Constant peace of mind and joy. You cannot buy joy. You have all these things that people think can make you happy, but there is always something missing.That's human nature. I'm not selfish. I am an okay person, I'd like to think. Of course, I get the kind of joy you get from your children, from your husband, but there are all these other things, like my dad is not around anymore.

I guess that kind of joy doesn't come from what you have or what you own.

Exactly. And I try to get that. I find a lot of comfort in prayer, in being alone, in being with my family, my husband and my kids and my work. But because you're human, there's always something you have not achieved, or something you've not gotten for yourself.

Also, there are a lot of things that I did not pray for that the good Lord gave me. I didn't ask to be sikat. I just wanted a little bit of fame so that I could sing a songs, finish school, and then get married, and then die. I didn't expect it to be my career. I hear all these horror stories about starlets who have gone to great lengths to get roles but still have not made it You wonder why you're just thinking of something and it's put m your lap. I feel so blessed in that department. But there are so many things that I have prayed for that were not given to me. For example, the two miscarriages. But 1 am grateful. I will never be ungrateful.

You must feel really good about yourself now-you look great, you've lost weight.

Yeah, but I have a few more to go. I lost about 60 pounds.

Does it make a lot of difference in the way you feel about yourself?

You know what, I have never, ever been pressured by other people. Otherwise, hindi na ako magpapataba. But I am vain to a healthy point because it is part of my being an actress. I owe that to my audienioe. You have to be presentable, so you can't just take it for granted. The point is, I have always gone on a weight loss program on my own, in my own good time. When people say, "Ang taba mo," I just say "Oo nga. Totoo nga. Hindi pa ako nag-didieta." Thank God, people watch my show even when I'm fat. It's just that ang kapal naman ng mukha ko to make movies when I'm that big unless the role calls for someone like that.

What did you do?

People usually ask me, what did you take? And I did not take anything. People who work with me every single day have seen me, they know what I eat.

We saw your lunch plate: grapefruit and a slice of brown bread

That's my everyday fare. You know, after a few days on it, your tummy gets used to the amount of food.

It's really about will power, isn't it? Do you get hungry? Cravings?

I have cravings! You know, like, wow, I really want tapa or a quarterpounder with cheese. No kidding. But you have to remind yourself that it is only for a time. And the rewards are far greater than a moment of easy chewing your fat-laden food. But I take breaks. You can't deprive yourself completely I tell myself, "0, I'll have that in three days." Then after three days of regular eating, I go back m the diet.

As you said, the weight loss has to happen over a stretch of time.

People say to me now, ang bilis. Aong ang bilis? Kasi hindi kayo nanonood ng show ko every week. You watch me now, then three weeks later; you tune in and say "Oh, my God! What did she do?" But you don't remember that it's been three weeks or over a month. They say, what did she take? Did she have lipo done? I have nothing against lipo. In fact, I want to have lipo. I just don't have the time for it. It's the healing period that takes so long. And my work is demanding. I cannot afford to take two to three weeks off. I get so pikon when people play know-it-all. Nasasayang ang laway ko. They'll think what they want to think anyway.

How did you decide on this diet?

It's a combination of things I've read over the years from books. It's not the Atkins, because that's all fat. I have veggies, I have fruits. I have carbo, although it's limited to that slice of bread. I don't have rice. When I turbo broil my chicken, I remove the skin. And I don't take sugar while I'm on the diet. I give myself a break after about a week, and then I go back again. It's okay.

Like now, I've been eating for about a week because of the stress of the season, and I didn't gain anything. So now, even when you eat lechon or, you don't make banat anymore. You just taste it. The bad thing about me, though, is that I am a coffee addict, have been since I was 17. I have to have my caffeine fix. Now, there's a cut-off. I stop at 3 in the afternoon.

Let's shift. Who are your friends?

I don't see my dose friends very often. Cherie is out of the country! Bing Loyzaga is busy. Zsa Zsa is busy. But when we're together I know these are people I can trust. It's like we were together just a few days ago.

My real friends, my best friends, are unfortunately out of the country. The only one who is here, he's a guy, is my kinakapatid. These are friends I've had since school. It's people like Maori - you know, hindi pa ako kasikatan when we met. It was about 1986.

I'm also very close to my cousins, the Sottos in particular, Lala, Ciara, and Apples. And Tita Helen. It's not as if I have a shortage of people to run to. And I'm very choosy. Especially at this point in time. When you've made a name for yourself, and you are some sort of a celebrity, you never know what people's intentions are when they come up to you and show you that they want to be your friend. Of course, you don't want to be cynical, but you want to be careful. I've been burned before. I still tend to talk to those whose trustworthiness I have tried and tested over the years, people that know me well. Still, I still keep a little to myself that I don't tell people about.

You also spoke about the importance of friendship in a marriage.

That's important. Because in the end, romance may go. Of course, you're hoping it won't. But it's really the companionship that will matter when you're old and gray. I pray that we will still be interesting to earch other when the time comes. I don't ever want the day to come when I wake up and I don't even want to look at him. I pray that doesn't happen. But you have to work at it every single day. When life's realities start overwhelming you, you automatically put aside romance. You concentrate on solving all these little problems of everyday life, and before you know it, you realize, oops, where are you? Then you need to spend time together.

What part of your life isn't fulfilled yet?

That's hard. I'm still constantly working towards being the best mother there is, because I am a working mother. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. When she would be out, she would be helping my dad out. We're very different. I had to really make a living, I had to carve out a life for my daughter and me to begin with. And that gives me a little pride, that I don't depend on my husband for the gifts I give my mother. I take care of her. My brother and I take care of her. Or, when I have utang I need to pay for, I don't run to him for anything. We help each other out with the expenses, but I want to be independent. I am one of the exceptions to the norm. I am one of the few 35-year-olds who have saved as much as I have, because I am an artista and I had parents who taught me where I should put my money.

Everybody is born with a gift. It would be such an injustice, such a sin, if we didn't learn how to use it. Especially us, entertainers, we are in a position to influence the population, that's why are hired for commercials. It is a big responsibility and it is a gift. For two hours people watch you and they are happy. How many people are given that chance?

Not every woman gets your second chance at love. What would you advice women out there who are hoping for it?

A man in your life should not be the be-all and end-all of your life. You have to be content with who you are first. Marriage is not a solution.