THE MEGASTAR AS MOM
by Cathy Babao-Guballa, Moms & Babies (Premier Issue), April-June 2002

She bore her first child, Kristina Cassandra, when she was barely out of her teens. In December 2000, with her first born already a budding teenager, she gave birth once again, this time to Francesca Simone. Both pregnancies and childbirth took media center stage. The public gobbled up every bit of news and trivia. Hardly surprising.

Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan and her "two greatest treasures"- KC and Frankie - are perhaps the country's most adored mother-daughter trio. Together or separately, they have been on the cover of various magazines, have been the subject of countless write-ups, and have appeared on many TV shows and commercials. And the public does not seem to tire of them.

Quite naturally, for this maiden issue of Moms & Babies, we thought of having the megastar and her latest bundle of joy grace our cover. Much to our delight, Sharon readily agreed. So one sunny afternoon, our small group trooped to her elegant home in Wack Wack to do the interview and pictorial.

Instead of movies, politics, and showbiz intrigues, Sharon animatedly talked about labor pains, breastfeeding, and bathing babies. Being a mother to a 17-yearold girl and a year-and-half-old baby is clearly her most challenging role ever. In an intimate chat with Cathy Babao Guballa (one of our contributing mom-writers), Sharon relates how different it has been-both physically and emotionally-to be a mother at 19 and to be a mother again 15 years later.

Cathy: How different was the second pregnancy from your first?

Sharon: The first was so easy. I was due to give birth April 22 (1985) but I started having labor pains April 7. KC arrived two weeks ahead of schedule. It was such an easy pregnancy, as if nothing changed, except of course when I was nauseous in the first trimester. Otherwise, it was just as if my tummy got big. I was still very active, doing the same stuff. I was shooting movies and promoting "Bituing Walang Ningning, " until I was about seven months pregnant. I had a very active lifestyle. I think that helped and I delivered naturally. KC was out in three hours from the time I arrived in the hospital. She weighed only 5.2 Ibs.

Cathy: And with Frankie?

Sharon: I experienced some difficulty with Frankie maybe because I was a bit older and had lots of problems at that time. It was a difficult and complicated pregnancy. I had to take so many medications. I also had to have my ultrasound almost every two weeks, then later, monthly consultations with my OB. I didn't want to risk anything. I wanted to give my baby the best, so I let go. I just ate whatever I craved for. It was so unlike my pregnancy with KC when I was not so matakaw. With KC, I actually put on all the extra weight after giving birth because everyone kept bringing food to the house. I gained a total of about 25 Ibs. With Frankie, I gained about 70 Ibs! I had a caesarian delivery with her and she was 8.11 Ibs. When she came out, they were joking - it's a boy .. it's a girl ... it's a toddler! KC was so easy. Frankie was so complicated and difficult. I really couldn't do much. I was allowed to do my show, but my doctor said as much as possible, I should be seated while hosting the program. With KC, I hosted a show and finished two movies. With Frankie, we had to schedule my tapings because of my medication. They had to monitor me constantly. But of course, there was the age factor. When you're 19, you're very energetic but with Frankie...l gave birth just before turning 35. I'm 36 now.

Cathy: You had a specific condition in during your pregnancy with Frankie, right?

Sharon: Dr. Edward Lim [her endocrinologist] says I have a reproductive immunology problem. It's a complicated thing. I can't recall the specific term for the condition. My great-grandmother on my mommy's side was a Pangilinan. The doctors said Kiko's [her husband, Senator Pangilinan] blood and mine have almost the same make-up. There are two sides here. If I ever needed a kidney transplant, Kiko would be a perfect donor, but if we were to have a baby, our blood incompatibility would pose a problem.

Cathy: What important things did you learn from the first pregnancy and experience of motherhood that prepared you for the second?

Sharon: The first time, I didn't know what to expect. I had to ask my relatives and mom. With Frankie I knew better. And there are so many guidebooks available now. When I had KC, I was so scared! I couldn't even bathe her. I felt stupid. So I had a midwife at home. I felt that I had to leave her to the experts. I was too scared to handle my own child. Now I realize that I have lost out on many precious moments.

Cathy: So again, it's a different experience with KC and Frankie?

Sharon: Yes, because I'm older and I'm more confident. It's not like when I was pregnant with KC and after I had her. Back then, I was still trying to prove a lot of things to myself. I was trying to carve out a life and make a career. I was also still growing up because I had her when I was just 19. With Frankie, I was already secure in all areas of my life. I'm no longer worried about raising her now that I have more experience as a mother. Now my career is okay and I am fulfilled. There's more room in my heart.

Cathy: What else have you learned about mothering?

Sharon: You learn a lot from what you do with the first. With KC I was too busy working and I realized I've shortchanged her. But I've explained it to KC, and everyone knows I was growing up then, too. It was a different time then. I could not spend as much time as I wanted with her. I wish I could go back in time and make it up to her.

Cathy: But look at her, she turned out so well.

Sharon: I believe it still depends on the personality of your child. Sometimes, in a large family, you raise them the same way but one will still turn out very different from the rest. You can influence them only to a certain degree. You really have to spend time with them while they're young.

Cathy: So the roots will be strong and they won't be easily shaken when they grow.

Sharon: Para kahit scan mapadpad, mag-iisip muna. KC and I have a better relationship now. She's 17. She and I went through this phase when we couldn't get along. Then we had a long talk. It was a good talk. Now I understand her more and she also understands me better. She's growing up. She's on the verge of adulthood. I can't accept the fact that you're already considered an adult when you reach 18 -- just think of what happened to me when I was 18!

Cathy: What are the new things you are experiencing with Frankie?

Sharon: What we have now is the instant gratification generation-text messaging, emailing, Internet; all this high-tech gadgets we did not have and KC did not have. I don't want Frankie to grow up without appreciating and valuing the simple things in life that really matter just because everything now is instantly available.

Cathy: So what you're saying is that we should go back to the basics. How involved are you in your day-to-day routine with Frankie?

Sharon: I'm spending more time with her, even in play. I always check on her in her room. Sometimes, I watch her when she's sleeping. It's nice to teach her songs. Every little thing she goes through I want to be there. We were present when she took her first few steps. You really don't want to miss out on these things. I practically take her everywhere with me but Kiko wants her home at seven. She loves it when we get into the car. She's used to the mall. I put her in the carousel and I stand beside her.

Cathy: You still manage to go malling?

Sharon: Yes, surprisingly. And I'm so grateful when people don't make a big deal out of that. I love it when we eat in restaurants. Frankie's so well behaved. She has a beautiful personality. She's a funny girl. She will do something and Kiko and I will end up laughing. She's so cute when she smiles.

Cathy: Did you breastfeed?

Sharon: Yes, with both of them. With Frankie I had to stop because I had to start campaigning. I had to lose weight also. I breastfed for three to four months, then I started mixed feeding with formula. I breastfed KC also for about the same period but had to start mixed feeding early because I was making movies then.

Cathy: You had two miscarriages before you had Frankie. How was it like during the nine months you carried her in your womb?

Sharon: I wasn't too happy before the pregnancy. It was like [people were saying] "Oba'tganyan, she lost her baby. She can't get pregnant. What's wrong?" And I thought, come on, give us a break! I actually got pregnant when we stopped trying. Not really stopped, more like we just took a break. The last thing you need is extra pressure. It will just add more stress when you're not relaxed.

Cathy: The whole country was practically "involved" during your pregnancies with Frankie and KC.

Sharon: They were all part of it. Kaya lang with KC back then, I got so upset because when she came out, they would secretly shoot her and then cover na siya ng magazine. I felt that I couldn't protect her so much; I could only do so much. With Frankie, it was different. It's like they all prayed and waited patiently. Maybe it's because my husband is not a movie actor and we're not a movie love team. I was grateful for all the prayers; I felt the support of everyone. So many people were involved in my pregnancy. It was so comforting.

Cathy: So how is it being a mom to a teenager and a baby?

Sharon: Cute, kasi magkaibang stage. Challenging. With KC, we're more concerned about her security when she goes out. She's such a public figure. Everybody has been looking at her since she was a baby. For almost 17 years, it's been a challenging task trying to protect and keep what little is left of her privacy. Of course with Frankie the concerns are different.

Cathy: What do you enjoy doing with Frankie?

Sharon: Swimming with her and making her akay when she walks.

Cathy: What part of baby care don't you enjoy?

Sharon: Bathing! She's so malikot! I'm still scared to bathe her so I just watch.

Cathy: Of course, you want to have some more kids.

Sharon: Oh yes! At least one more, but hopefully two more.

Cathy: Did you experience postpartum blues?

Sharon: The first time, no. I didn't understand what that was all about. But with the second... well, you know I had to campaign ...so I felt like I had to put my own feelings aside. And it was painful when I had to leave the baby because I had to do this thing for my husband. Parang mamaya na yung `trying to process' what you feel. I didn't allow myself to think about that and wallow in it. Still, there were times when we were campaigning that I would just feel very sad because I couldn't spend time with my baby.

Cathy: What changes did Frankie bring into your relationship with Kiko?

Sharon: I guess you could say that she added more toughness to the glue. We are stronger, we have a bond now that is unimaginable. Sometimes, Kiko lulls Frankie to sleep, sometimes I do it, other times we do it together. We're so much gentler, so much more understanding now.