Good Housekeeping, December 1998

Long before she became the Megastar, to me, she was and always will be, a Mega friend. The image of Sharon Cuneta that has stayed with me through all these years is how she looked when I first met her - fair-skinned with long, dark brown tresses; large, bright eyes, and a genuinely friendly smile. She was only ten years old then and show business was but a gleam in her eye. She stood out in a white party frock and wore dainty little-girl jewelry. Even then, Sharon's charm was irresistible. Like many other little girls at the party, I was quickly drawn to her. She already possessed the warmth and charisma that would set her apart from the rest of her peers.

In 1981, when she made her leap into movies with Dear Heart. I, like many other girls of my generation, flocked to the cinemas to see what Sharon was all about. Dear Heart became a huge success and subsequently, Sharon became the icon of my generation. Over the years, she echoed our pains, fears, and joys through the movies she made, and ironically, through real life itself. When Dear Heart was shown, we too were going through the throes of first love. At about the time her marriage to Gabby Concepcion was breaking up, we too were having our share of first heartbreak. In the 90s, at about the same time she was on her own as a single parent, accomplished actress, and astute businesswoman, the women of our generation were also slowly finding their own niche in the world.

Through the years, I watched my childhood friend from a distance, rejoicing at her success and weeping at her heartbreak. It was enough for me to keep track of her sterling career. I was more than willing to forgive her if she had allowed our childhood bond to slip and fade. But Sharon never allowed it. I was amazed at how someone of her stature could remain so unaffected, so sincere.

It had been a while since we last saw each other, and I was feeling a bit apprehensive about talking to the Megastar face to face. But when she briskly walked into Blue Bacon and Green Eggs ("My favorite restaurant in all of Manila.." she says) and gave me the warmest hug one could ever receive from a friend, suddenly, all my fears and apprehensions were blown away. We became, one again, the bosom buddies that we were many years ago.

Over lunch, the Mega friend bared her heart and shared with me how much her life has changed. After her second marriage, her sabbatical from showbusiness to join her husband in Boston, and the heartbreak of two miscarriages, Sharon is taking advantage of the precious opportunity to pull back and slow down. Drastically cutting down on her commitments, she now savors the chance to be with her husband and daughter - the chance to simply be.

On Boston

In 1997, one year after quietly marrying lawyer Francis "Kiko" Pangilinan, Sharon bid temporary farewell to showbiz. Packing her bags to join Kiko in Boston, where he was pursuing a Masters Degree in Public Administration at the John F. Kennedy School of Government in Harvard, Sharon, at last, had the chance to pursue her dream to live a simple life as wife and mother. Since she joined showbusiness at 13 years old, she had rarely taken a break longer than a month. Through her Sunday variety show, fans were able to see her weekly, without fail, for over ten years. This time she would be gone for an entire year. Her desire to move away from it all was understandable; even her staunchest fans acknowledged that. What perhaps many people, including Sharon herself, did not anticipate was the change the Boston stint would make on her. The time away from Manila was, in fact, a chance to come home to her private self. As she candidly puts it, "I guess I love myself more now." Now that she is back in the country for good, Sharon shares her discoveries.

"Boston was such a welcome experience. Just before I left, I was so sad because I was leaving everything that I had gotten used to. I was actually scared. I didn't know what was going to happen, I was scared of the unknown. But when I got to Boston, the minute I got there, I just fit into the lifestyle. There was no, `I miss work.' Nothing! Sure there were moments when I would miss my show, miss my staff, pero wala yung `bakit ba ako nagpunta dito?' Wala `yon. I missed my work but I did not miss my killer schedule.

"I think the experience made us all better persons. Before I went to Boston, it was all work, work, work for me. Parang my reason for living, reason for being, was trabaho, anak ko, tapos asawa ko. But when we went to Boston, it was a total turn-around. Before Boston, I always thought that my priorities were in order but I had obligations, I had to face reality. Now, I still have the same priorities, the same order, but now I'm more protective of the top two or top three which are family, family, and family.

"Actually, I'm finding it more difficult re-adjusting to life back here than adjusting to life in Boston. In fact, my husband said that in Harvard they warn you about what they call `re-entering' cause, as you know, in Harvard, it's peaceful, all you have to think about is school. Then when you get back (to your home country), you're faced with all the realities na naman. You have to do work, do this, do that. Of course, there's no place like home. My family's here, my friends are here. Kiko adjusted more easily `cause he dove right back into his law firm. Ako kasi, in Boston, I got the chance to do my own thing, go wherever I want, drive around, not have to worry about anything - I didn't have any employees. Now, I miss all of that."

On Sleepless Nights

It is little known that because of the work hours she keeps, Sharon has been an insomniac since she was seventeen. "I would give anything just to yawn at the right time," she once confided to a close friend. Life in Boston, thankfully, has set her body clock straight. Now she sleeps "whenever I want to, thank God!"

"There used to be times when KC would already be leaving for school, nakaalis na siya and hindi pa ako natutulog. When I married Kiko, it got a little better because he's a morning person. and then, when I went to Boston, hirap na hirap ako. The jet lag helped, though. After a while, when we were closed to the end of our stay in Boston - gosh, I don't think anyone can ever imagine the joy that I felt when I was finally, little by little, able to sleep at the right time! You know, these are small things that people take for granted.

"Grabe naman ngayon, if I want to sleep at ten, I will. If I want to watch something on TV, I stay up until 2 a.m., but I'm already too sleepy... Now, I don't want to push myself hard anymore. When I feel that I need to get sleep, I do."

On Slowing Down

The year in Boston gave Sharon the chance to free herself from the grip of a strict work ethic that she had imposed on herself for years. If, as a teenager, she barely had a few hours of free time every day, in Boston she had entire days and weeks. The change of pace awakened in her a deep realization of what she had missed and what was most important to her. On her return home, she became determined to hold on to what she had found - the precious freedom to be with her family.

She has slowed down - "by choice," she emphasizes - and is learning to take life easy. "I don't sacrifice my time with my husband and daughter anymore. Now, when I know they're free, I refuse and just say, `Oh, I'm sorry but I have to be with them.' I didn't used to take vacations. I used to think sayang yung oras. In fact for many years, I had no day off - seven days a week, 25 hours a day, if needed. Grabe `yon. I guess because I had to straddle several worlds at one time.

"Even my show has changed. I used to have a day for recording 4 to 5 songs. Even if I did not have any sleep the night before because I was up shooting, and even if I had no voice, I still had to do it. Aside from studying the songs, I had to record pa, every single week for 11 years. For over a year or two years, I had to shoot music videos after recording until the morning. Yung bang tapos ka na, tapos magme-makeup ka, kakanta-kanta ka doon. Yung ni-record mo, `yung din and ishoo-shoot mo. Then the next day, we would be shooting for a film naman."

On Being A Workaholic

Many people have wondered why Sharon, who was born with the proverbial "silver spoon," had to work so hard. Daughter of Mayor Pablo Cuneta, she had both wealth and privilege. Yet, in show business, she worked herself to the bone. Clearly, the motivation came from somewhere deep within - a need to heal and to redeem herself.

"I started really becoming a workaholic after Gabby [Concepcion] and I separated. I knew I had to make a living for me and my daughter. I also think the real driving force was that I wanted to prove something to my Dad and Mom, and to myself. I could have easily gone back home to Mommy and Daddy, but I said: 'No way.' This was my mistake, if you can call it that, thought I don't regret it. My thinking was, I brought this upon myself. I was twenty-one and so I said, okay, what do I do with my life? My marriage broke up - so what? Do I also destroy the other areas? No way. So I said I will work for my daughter and for myself.

"It took me a while. I didn't always have so much because I didn't run back to my parents. I could have easily given up, but I saw it as a challenge. I would have a ledger wherein I would write: this is what I expect to earn, this is what I need every month. I had to do that and see where I was spending too much and cut down. So, things didn't happen overnight. Little by little, I was able to pay off my debts, tapos nakaka-ipon na ako. It's not simply about earning and spending. I have to think about the future.

"From the day I got married [for the first time] up to this very day, I have not gone to my parents to ask for anything. Now, I work because I love my work, no longer because I have to put food on the table. I am blessed enough to be in the position to do work that I think my audience will enjoy or that I think I will enjoy doing."

On Business and Leisure

Aside from being an accomplished actress and singer, Sharon is known to be a highly competent businesswoman. Genes may have a lot to do with the Megastar's sharp business acumen. "It's all instinct," she says. "I get it from my Mom and Dad." How did she develop her business acumen?

"I grew up like that, it's no big deal. My parents advise me. Feeling ko nga ang dami ko pang hindi nagagawa. I feel there's still so much to learn. I'd like to learn about the stock market. What I do now is I just watch the news and think.

"I respect money but I don't worship it. I make it work for me, I am not enslaved by it. Once you work for it, you have to let it go and let it work for you. I cannot imagine my self being as rich as a small magnate or something because then I'd have to worry about so many things. I'd like to be able to enjoy my money. I don't want to have more than enough that I can't appreciate it anymore. I'd like to just have enough to be able to go where I want to; whatever I want to eat, I can afford. And I really save. I spend and I save, I don't just spend and I don't just only save. You can't let it control you, you have to enjoy it. When are you going to enjoy it, when you're dead?"

On Her Parents

The drive to prove herself worthy has placed Sharon in a league all her own. Her determination to succeed is perhaps paralleled only by her own father's long and colorful political career. As mayor of Pasay City, Pablo Cuneta managed to stay in power longer than any other city mayor in the history of the country. It came to an ironic and poignant end when Sharon broke her Boston sabbatical to come home and campaign for her mother's failed bid for public office. Does she see herself in her Dad or her Mom?

"Both, actually. My mom's the artistic one. She's the one who took music. She's the madaldal one, and I obviously inherited that. She's mapagpatawa, like me. My Mom and I... kasi, you know, we're both like this [makes two fists] - headstrong, opinionated, and my daughter's the same. So my mom and I used to clash, we couldn't help it. Now I appreciate her more. We enjoy each other's company and I miss her when she's not here. It's really much better now.

"With my dad, ever since nine we've been so close. You can say that I got my work ethic, my sense of professionalism from my dad. He always used to tell me, 'Basta hindi ka pa mamatay, pumunta ka. Sinagutan mo `yan.' That's how you earn respect. And it's true.

"I've realized that whenever I would get serious, I would turn into someone like my dad. My dad kasi is the stern one. I just wish I am as strong as he is. But my discipline is from the two of them."

On Thoughtfulness

Among Sharon's many traits, the one that has endeared her to many people is her gift for making people feel really special. No matter how busy she is, she has been known to personally pick out gifts, sign gift cards, and write e-mail to fans. "The best gift I can give them is my time," she says.

"I do not allow anyone to do it for me. When I answer fan e-mail, it has to be me even if it's just one sentence. I don't let anyone else do that for me. So, well, I backlog, but the person receiving the letter can be sure that it's me.

"People know that I can buy whatever - a nice Christmas basket or a dress - to give an inaanak. So what is the hardest thing for me to give? It's my time. So when I give of my time, I do not just write and say, To Cathy, Love Sharon. No, there's got to be more written there. Pero sige na nga, sometimes there's just really no time, so To dear Cathy, na lang, Love, Sharon. Pero it has to be my handwriting. Because I myself, I don't like receiving typewritten cards from whoever. So, for example, when I sent flowers, the flower shop who's been my suki for years knows that with me, ever since, it's different. When I call and say it's Cathy's birthday, I want to send something to this address, they know already that they have to pass my house, pick up my card, and then deliver. This is really very important to me.

"I've been like this ever since I was small. And it's not na pinilit ako. I really enjoy doing these things. The downside however is that I'm not always on time. For example, a best friend who lives in the US has a birthday. Because I'm dying to write the card myself and pick it out myself, I will have to follow my schedule. Sometimes, I end up greeting her one month, two months after, and we just joke about it and I tell her, `You know...'"

On Christmas

"My favorite, favorite time of the year," Sharon squeals. While last Christmas, she enjoyed a quiet winter celebration in Boston, this year's celebration will be spent shuttling between the Cunetas and the Pangilinans. Weeks before December, she's already done shopping for gifts and has sent out all her cards.

"I go to Rustan's or some place that's out of the way or some place that's kind enough to send me things, and then I just chose, pay. Ganoon lang. I like shopping in Rustan's because they're so used to me. It's really the toys that I shop for. The other stuff I can get year-round.

"I prefer to shop myself. I'd like to personally choose for the people who matter to me."

On Bringing Up KC

Sharon was barely out of her teens when she had her daughter, KC. Now a teenager herself, KC has blossomed into a beautiful and charming girl, her mother's pride and joy. What is her secret to raising KC so well?

"I really don't know. The last time I spanked her, she was four years old. I'm not a "hit" person - I scream my head off, jump up and down, get mad, leave her. She'll cry, I'll cry, and when things have cooled down, I'll go to her room and ask her, "Do you understand why I got mad? "Then I go on and try to explain it in her language. After a while, she understands and it's okay na.

"KC is very opinionated and stubborn. That's good for the future, when she's independent, but not now. But in general, she's really a very good kid. It's just that she also has so many interests. I feel that sometimes she spreads herself out too thinly and I cannot allow that. Then they don't understand that you're just teaching them to prioritize, to be responsible for what they do. But then when you're 13 - and we went through that - I mean, how responsible can you be at 13? You'll try but you'll have lapses. But it's okay, I don't push her too much. I want her to enjoy her childhood without having to give up too much.

"In her younger years, I had difficulty disciplining KC. Because I was working and could not be with her every single day, we started writing letters to each other. I would also bring her to my shootings sometimes. In fact, it's funny because there was a time when she was a little girl, she used to think that everyone came out on TV because everyone she knew did: me, her dad, Tita Helen, Uncle Tito, my mom..."

"I think what happened was that every time she would be with me, I would watch and notice. Not just see. Kasi you can be with your child 24 hours a day and just see. Because I believe in nipping things in the bud. When she was small, I knew they were the formative years and so whenever she would be with me and do something that wasn't right, I would tell her and explain to her right away that you don't do this because it's like this.

"I also think that it's KC's personality, that's why she's turned out this way. If your child is pretty good, then it will be easier."

"I'm very happy KC took to Kiko from the very beginning. I think that was one thing also that made me come to a decision that this is the guy that I will marry. It wasn't the only thing, but it was a major thing. Because the most precious thing in the world to me is my daughter. Aba eh kung liligaya nga ako per humahagulgol naman ito araw-araw, eh paano naman tatahimik ang buhay ko? It also happened that Francis would go out of his way to be friendly to her."

On Her Miscarriage

Her family and fans had hoped that after Boston, Sharon would come home with child. But it was not to be. Though she replies to questions about her two miscarriages quite well and has been able to heal and move on, we detect a note of longing and sadness when she speaks of wanting to get pregnant "desperately."

"You know, people have this impression that I lost my baby because I was too busy. In the beginning, when I would bump into people, they would say, 'Dapat kasi nagpahinga ka.' I wanted to say, 'Kaya nga ako lumaki kasi wala akong ginagawa.' When the TV show started [ABS-CBN's Sharon], I had already lost my second baby. My last concert was the night I found out I was pregnant, so I stopped working after that. It was so upsetting to me that people thought I was so irresponsible. They're wrong. Even now, if my doctor says that I need to stop working if and when, then I will.

"You know, I got really depressed with the second miscarriage - 1 lost 13 pounds in two weeks. The first was also devastating, but of course you're hopeful. After the second, it's like, just a minute...

I asked Sharon if she's all right now, and she answers with an assured "yeah." With the interview over, we pose for pictures. Again, we hug and wish each other well, and, for a brief moment, I was reminded of the 10-year-old with the warm ways and the delightful smile. As she walks out the door into the late afternoon sun, I can only smile and pray that blessings will continue to shower upon this woman who's in a very special league of her own.