SHOWOFFS: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
by Bayani S. San Diego Jr., Mirror Weekly, February 20, 1995

You are interested in writing your autobiography?

I'd like it to be a very informal book. It's not going to be launched as a must-have. It's for anyone who'd care to know the real Sharon.

It's hard to set a date, because we're busy with so many things. But we've started working on it. It's fun. It will be written very casually and truthfully.

In the past, I've been misquoted, things have been written that were not true. I just want accuracy. So if it comes from me. It cannot be more accurate.

What will be the most important chapters?

The years when I realized that I was put in this position by God, not just to better myself or my craft, but because I have a social responsibility.

When did you realize this?

Bata pa ako, gano'n na ako. But when I started making movies I discovered that a celebrity, a crowd drawer, has a certain degree of influence over people. You have to take good care of that.

It's not just a gift; it's a big responsibility.

People can identify with me in the sense that I am not perfect at all. Far from it. But see, watching lang from the sidelights they also know na, yes, I've lived my life, I've made mistakes, but I've always managed to pull myself out of every rut. I was able to pick myself up and make my life better.

I didn't have to get bumped on the head five times to realize that I'm doing something wrong.

The biggest test in my whole life is that, despite all the fame and glory that were thrown at my feet... my biggest achievement is that I didn't let the business swallow me. And when I die, I will smile because of that. I'm proud of that.

Is it hard being a role model?

Yah. It's a responsibility. But if you are basically a decent person, which I would like to believe I am... when you don't try to get what you think is due you by stepping on other people and by using other people... and if you have a good heart... if you are level-headed and well-grounded... then you have no problem.

I have no problem, kasi I'm not acting, e. This is me.

I own up when I make mistakes. I'm the first to admit that I'm not perfect. that's why it's easy for my audience to identify with someone like me. I'm human.

Once and for all, are you running for public office?

I make a certain amount of money every year that affords me little luxuries left and right. In other words, I have more than I need. I know that I can do a lot to help other people and I don't need to publicize it because I'm not running for public office.

My favorite line is that I'm doing it because I'm depositing in heaven. I say that all the time because it's true.

Yes, I talk about some of my pet charities - my Chosen Children, my Wish Upon a Mega, the beneficiaries of my concerts - because I want to encourage more people to help. By talking about these projects, I'll be able to do more.

Because of my stature, I can influence others to help. But all the other personal stuff, I don't talk about it anymore.. just so people would say. "Ay, and bait! Ang galing!"

I know I can help without being in government. I already do so much.

This is for a Valentine's issue. So we'd like to know: For you, what are the distinct stages of a relationship?

Courtship, the first stage, is when the guy is trying to win your heart. Which I think, all things considered, is the best stage in a relationship. Because that's when the guy is trying to win you over and he's trying to put his best foot forward. He's trying to impress you. He'll wine and dine, he'll woo you.

The second is when you pass the adjustment period. The two of you have to adjust because you were not born in the same family, you didn't grow up together, you were not molded the same way, you didn't live like brother and sister who would be responsible to each other no matter what.

When you surpass all these tests and you accept the faults of the other person and you still would like to live with this person even if you can choose not to... that's an achievement.

Getting through it and finally deciding: "Yah, I can live with this person even if he has faults. I have my own faults. I have shortcomings and so does he."

When you accept him - good and bad, warts and all. That's another great achievement.

When you reach the moment... years and years after you first fell in love, and you're still good friends, you're still pleasant to each other.... when you smile when you think about this person... that I think is one of the greatest things that could ever happen to a relationship.

Which part is the most enjoyable?

Iba-iba kasi. Like the courtship stage. It's fun because it's artificial. Not naman artificial in a negative way. It's because you don't know each other that well pa and it's exciting.

But I imagine the best part would be the last stage: When you are in your tumba-tumba and you're old already and you're still holding hands.

Which part is the most challenging?

The middle. That's when you find out even the not-so-nice things. That's the deciding point: Do I want to stay or not?

Which stage have you failed to master?

I don't think we ever master anything. I don't think it's possible because you're not the only person involved. There's someone else. You may have control over your own heart and your own emotions, but you have no way of controlling the other person and you do best not to even try... you'd never succeed, you'd just make an idiot out of yourself.

If and when KC falls in love, what advice would you give her?

Gee, I would tell her all the things I've learned.

I'd tell her. Please listen to me.

After all the things I've been through, all the lessons that I've learned... if my daughter listens to me and avoids the mistakes I made and the pain I felt, and my daughter ends up happily married to someone who is worth her time and love, then everything would've been worth it.

Kasi, ako I had to learn the hard way. I had to experience life. It's so difficult.

My daughter only has to listen and listen hard. I hope she does.

How about in terms of the qualifications of KC's future husband, from the point of view of a mother?

Basta matino, mahal siya. `yon lang naman `yon.

Someone who could feed my daughter three times a day, give her a roof over her head. Di naman 'yong anak ko pa ang magpapakain sa kanya. Matino. Disente. Saka mahal na mahal siya at aalagaan siya.

Someone who'd match your love for her?

Someone I would wish for myself.

How would you respond if you had a son and he asked you, how he should handle a woman?

Oh, I wish I had a son. It's good that you ask that, I used to tell my friends. I'd teach my son to treat a woman with great respect. Like she was a diamond; her heart, a very precious and fragile piece of glass.

It's because I've noticed, even from firsthand experience when I was younger, some men in this society are so spoiled. Kasi we live in a matriarchal society e. All our men are spoiled by their mothers. Men can have queridas left and right and they are tolerated by society. Double standard nga e.

That's why I will tell my boy to really respect the woman he will fall in love with... to take good cared of her... to try his damn best not to hurt her feelings... not to break her heart.

It has become so unimportant to this generation. I don't think a lot of men realize this. You cannot buy devotion. You cannot buy true love. You cannot buy respect.

And my kids will definitely be raised with these values.

Do you still believe in romance?

O yah. I'm an incurable romantic. I think I had an overdose of romantic novels when I was young. So minsan akala mo Prince Charming, `yon pala Prince of Darkness.

But, you know, I love romance. I cannot imagine living without romance.

It's good to keep the dreamer in you. The minute you stop dreaming, that's the end of you. You'll just exist, you will not live.

Do you have a security blanket, in whatever form?

When I do concerts, I cannot live without my concert director, Sandra Chavez.

In my daily life, I cannot live without my best friend, Anna Zosa.

In my romantic life, of course, it's good to have someone's hand to hold, someone who'd make you feel that he really cares. In that case, my boyfriend.

Security blanket? I have a lap-top computer that I carry around with me. I have letters to God in that computer.

Once I was praying hard for something. After I wrote a prayer of request, I reviewed all the letters that I wrote before that and I noticed that most of the times, if not all the time, after every request the next letter was a thank you note. I realized: God! He has really given me so much! He has never let me down.

Without that, I'm going to die.

So my all-around security blanket are my prayers. It's my faith. My faith is tremendous.

When do you rely on it most?

Every single day. Even when I'm in a hurry... I'm about to leave for work and I have no time because I woke up late and I couldn't sleep the night before... and I have an appointment... I have an important meeting to go to... I'm trying to close a deal... Everything, I pray for.

And before I go up onstage, I repeat one thing: "I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me."

It has been quite a life. Your wedding was attended by thousands of people... I don't want that to happen again. A wedding should be a sacred, solemn event. It should not be a circus.

Still, you have lived quite a life, what is the biggest lesson you have learned from living and loving?

That there are more important things in life than material things and fame. There are good friends, family ties that should not be broken, there are good relationships and there's decency which you cannot buy and you'd do best not to sell.

What were the turning points in your life?

Giving birth. Separation. When I finally made the decision. And eight months of living alone in the condo, after we separated. The whole eight months I could not even buy my own furniture. It was a low point. My movies were not making money. I made two movies that year that didn't make so much money. My show moved to another station. I was struggling and I was newly separated.

But I survived! I proved it. I could've gone home to my parents and just asked for money.

Kahit hindi ako artista, I could have gone on wearing the same clothes, the same jewelry, even eat the same good food and live in the same Dasmarinas home.

But, I'm ma-pride, e. I'd like to make something out of myself and not depend on my father all my life.

What do you do when you're alone?

I sleep. I read. I watch TV.

What do you feel when you're alone?

I'm pretty much okay. I'm pretty much contented.

You no longer feel depressed?

Wala na. Matagal na. I got over it.

You call yourself a survivor?

A survivor. And a fighter.